I’m a big fan of babies. In the balance, they come with a lot of positives. For instance, you get to shape and form them, for good or bad. You have the exciting responsibility of teaching them important lessons that remain with them the rest of their lives, like brushing teeth, tying shoes, watching Die Hard every Christmas season, and loving dogs.
Our children are grown and gone from the house. However, I have all this experience that I am happy to pass along to a new generation of parents. But, I learned a long time ago that offering advise to a new parent is a fool’s errand. First, their experience isn’t your experience and anything you say may, or may not be of value. Second, and most importantly, they’re too tired to listen and heed your advice.
There is one area in which I am always an eager participant: The act of naming the newborn. I like to offer suggestions that, in my opinion, are true winners. With my creative mind and extra time on my hands now that I don’t have to teach anyone how to brush their teeth, I can create a quick list that could impact this child’s direction in life, and if I may be so bold, alter the course of history.
Here are just a few of the best baby names I’ve offered in the past:
- Charles Austin (a proven winner)
- Charlette (if it’s a girl)
- Curtis
- Curtina (if it’s a girl)
- Gary
- Bob
- Robert
- Roberta
- Robear
- Pavarotti, Beethoven, or Cher (for the musically ambitious)
- Florence Nightingale or Doctor (for the medically minded)
- President (for parents who have great ambitions)
- Beachcomber (for parents with low expectations)
Surprisingly, to date no one has ever taken any of my award-winning suggestions. Like I said, a fool’s errand.
A u s t i n 's A c r e 